Recently I attended the funeral of Max Dutson, who was my Bishop when I was baptized, and indeed through most of my childhood. 

I had been surprised that his funeral was in Utah rather than in the Idaho town where he lived for so many years, but I was glad that it was close enough for me to go. I was hopeful of seeing many old friends and expected, from my knowledge of his family, to enjoy wonderful music as well.

I followed a gentleman into the church, and as I picked up the pen to sign the guest book, I was astonished to read a very familiar name. I said to the man, “Excuse me, are you Ward Fluckigar?” I was sure there couldn’t be two of that name, but this man was unrecognizable.

It was Ward, and he had no idea who I was even after I said “I’m  Nita” until I gave my previous surname. Many years ago our families had been close and frequent friends. We had cared for each other’s children overnight in rotation to enable the other couple to attend the temple, and frequently one of us moms kept all the kids while the other gave birth! I couldn’t believe that we wouldn’t instantly recognise each other.

I found I could not recognize the Dutson children who had frequently graced our Sacrament meetings with beautiful string quartet hymns until I matched them with their instrument and the printed program while they all performed beautifully! I only easily recognized Carolyn, who is my sister’s neighbor that I try to see each time I go there, as she’s been dear to me for all these many years.

I still wonder how many childhood and young adult friends I didn’t identify in that congregation. But as I pondered change and death and resurrection, I remembered that 1 Corinthians 13:12 reminds us “For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.”

Of course we’ll recognize those we love after death separates us! It’s just our mortal bodies that confuse us, but our friendships outlast death. “And that same sociality which exists among us here will exist among us there, only it will be coupled with eternal glory, which glory we do not now enjoy.” D&C 130:2.

As I prepare to leave so many dear ones for a much shorter time, I’m comforted to know that, while there will be many changes, the important things will stay the same and even become better! The love will last.

~Nita Smith